Who is a Cancer Survivor?
It seems like a relatively simple and straightforward question, “Who is a cancer survivor?” Funny thing is, even in the cancer community, there is some debate about the answer to the question. Some feel that the term “survivor” should be saved for those that have completed treatment. The more widely held belief is that the term “cancer survivor” applies from the moment of diagnosis. You have cancer and you are alive, you are a survivor.
Cancer Patient or Cancer Survivor?
When I was newly diagnosed I was in a state of disbelief, shock, and exhaustion from my recent surgery. I certainly didn’t think of myself as a cancer survivor. I was a “cancer patient” being cared for by a team of medical professionals and my goal was to “survive” my treatment. I was not a “cancer survivor.” Not yet anyway. Now you may feel very differently about this, and there is certainly no right or wrong perspective. Wherever you stand on the topic, we can probably agree that there are different issues that arise during your treatment survivorship journey versus your post-treatment after cancer survivorship journey.
Newly diagnosed and in treatment, I certainly didn’t think about the future, the next treatment, or sometimes even the next day. I did what I had to do to get through the day in front of me.
Newly diagnosed and in treatment, I focused intently on what was right in front of me, getting through the day to day. Some days this was as simple and straightforward as getting through my day to day tasks of eating, personal care, resting, and trying to walk a few more steps than the day before. Other days, it was a monumental task where it felt like I was climbing Mount Everest just to get out of bed. I certainly didn’t think about the future, the next treatment, or sometimes even the next day. It was, what did I have to do to get through this day in front of me. To be brutally honest, I tried really hard to be in denial and not think about what happens if treatment didn’t work. I didn’t have the emotional energy to go there, so I didn’t.
In the after cancer, I started to think about what my tomorrow was going to look like.
The after cancer, after treatment was completed and I received my first “no evidence of disease” (NED) scan, was a very different story. While still trying to focus on what was right in front of me, because some days didn’t feel all that different from the days during treatment, I also started thinking about a future. Now I wasn’t brave or naive enough to think about a future in terms of decades or even years, but I started to think about what my tomorrow was going to look like. What, if anything I still wanted to accomplish, what I wanted to see and do. What was and is mostly on my mind were these questions: will I get stronger, will my chemo brain go away, will I always be this fatigued, will I always feel this fragile, will I always be afraid of my next scan. I am two years out from my cancer diagnosis (September 15, 2021) and these questions still linger in my mind.
It took a long time to shift my mindset into thinking and believing that I was and am a cancer survivor.
Thinking of yourself as a “cancer patient,” a “cancer survivor,” or both, may depend on what you yourself are focusing on. When I was struggling to get through treatment and after I finished treatment and was still struggling to get through the day, it didn’t feel right to think of myself as a survivor. So I was a cancer patient. It took a long time to shift my mindset into thinking and believing that I was and am a cancer survivor. Believing now that I am a cancer survivor, there remains other lingering questions about my status. If I’m on a maintenance drug does that mean I am still a cancer patient? Can I be a patient and a survivor at the same time? Or am I just a survivor? As if being “just” a survivor isn’t a mighty feat in itself!
Being a “cancer survivor” means I was and am strong.
While you may say this is all a matter of semantics, defining who you are within the cancer journey is also about your emotional cancer journey, not just your physical cancer journey. Being a “cancer patient,” I thought of myself more passively, as someone who was getting something done to them by outside forces and waiting to see the results. In a way it signified to me that I had little to no control, which is why I looked for other ways to have control. (More on my control issues in future articles.) It was easier to think of myself as a “cancer patient” because I felt physically weak. Being a “cancer survivor” means that I was and am strong. I endured something that very sadly some others have not. “Cancer survivor” makes feels like I had a part in my survivorship, maybe not physically but emotionally because we all know it takes determination and grit to choose to go through treatment.
As I reflect now on who is a cancer survivor, I think I shortchanged myself during treatment by not thinking of myself as both a “cancer patient” and a “cancer survivor”. We don’t have to be one or the other. We can be both. The truth of the matter for all of us is that during treatment we are a “cancer patient”, we are receiving medical care, and our body may feel weak. We are probably still a “cancer patient” when we are receiving maintenance treatment. But during all these times we are also a “cancer survivor” because we have the strength and fortitude to push forward in spite of and because of our diagnosis. Cancer may have marked our lives, but we are alive, living, breathing. Cancer survivors!
What about you? Who do you think is a cancer survivor?