Living in the AND

So much of our life and time and energy is spent grappling with conflicting feelings.  If I am grateful, then why am I also anxious, or sad?  If I am joyful, then why do I also feel angry?  While this one isn’t quite relevant to me right now, it was for a long time:  if I am cancer free, then why do I still feel like I am a cancer patient?  It can be difficult to reconcile all those feelings.  And when we can’t, we often beat ourselves up.  We think we aren’t doing gratitude right or we wouldn’t be feeling anxious or sad.  We aren’t going through treatment like so many others who have it worse so we should stop worrying about ourselves and be grateful.  But here’s the thing, our feelings, like our lives, are not black and white.  They are not one or the other.  And they are not wrong or right.  They just are.

When we discount one feeling over the other or feel like we can’t feel two ways about the same thing at the same time what we are really doing is shutting off a part of ourselves.  Maybe it’s the part that needs more healing, more reflection, more growth.  But we won’t know it because we push it aside, judging ourselves by thinking our life can’t be good or grateful or joyful if we are feeling the negative emotions too.   And we do it not only to ourselves, but we can do it to others or others can do it to us. 

While I don’t have anything per se against that “Good Vibes Only” message, it also sends the message that we don’t want to or can’t handle the messy part of life, the pains that inevitably come as a part of just living.  While it’s a cute saying, it actually separates us, keeping our human connection and our humanness at arms-length.  We are telling others I will not be here for you if you have anything other than good vibes.  It also places judgment on those other, more difficult and less desirable feelings and emotions, those bad vibes we all have.  Like when we are just having a bad day. 

I know that this will feel controversial for some.  We need to have good vibes and focus on that good energy to manifest our hearts desires.  But we also need to learn about ourselves, about others, about our common humanity to grow as humans, both collectively and individually.  And we can’t do that if we push the bad feelings, the human feelings, the feelings that really touch our soul, away.  When we do that what we are ultimately doing is pushing people away from us and pushing us away from ourselves.  I think we can do better.  Living in the And means we can choose joy AND hold space for those painful moments in life too. 

In 2024, let’s commit to showing and accepting our humanness to ourselves and to others.  Say out loud the things we are fearful of.  The things that we grapple with.  The things that keep us up at night.  I am grateful but I am also anxious for my future and wonder if I will have one.  I am joyful but also sad that I don’t have the life I thought I would, or the people that I thought would be here for me. 

Expressing my fears and doubts and anxieties and you sharing yours with me will make us connect.  Because of my struggles you may gain a different perspective that may even provide you with insight and make you live a little better, a little more intentionally, a little truer to yourself and your values.  And I may learn the same from you.  It will undoubtedly enable us to lighten each other’s loads just a little.

Let’s learn how to give ourselves and others grace.  Let’s learn how to live in the And, the in between, with the conflicting feelings and the unknown staring us in the face.  Let’s fully feel without fighting it.  Because when we allow ourselves to fully feel all those conflicting feelings without the need to reconcile them or push the seemingly negative ones away, we allow ourselves to fully feel all that this life has to offer, the depth of it, the joy of it, the sadness of it.  In return, we may get a life that is fully lived.

Hanging On

Sometimes all you can do is hang on.

As you may know, in September of 2021 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  Fast forward 28 crazy months.  Surgery, chemo, clear scans, triumphs.  Struggling to figure out who I was after cancer and how to deal with the limitations that cancer and its treatment imposed on me.  Fighting back.  Laughing.  Epic road trips and visits with family and friends.  Being awed by Mother Nature.  And now, here I am again.  My latest scan shows a recurrence.  Unwanted but not unexpected as 70% of ovarian cancer survivors will have a recurrence.  So it will be surgery, recovery, and then chemo.  Again. 

As I think about what is ahead and about this blog and website, so many thoughts swirl in my head.  I had intended the website to provide support for the after cancer: the after treatment when you are cancer free in the physical sense but not in the emotional or mental sense.  Because cancer, once it touches you, never truly leaves your mind.  And yet, here I am, not cancer free.  A patient again getting ready for treatment to ward off this ugly disease.  Someone who is no longer in the thick of the after cancer but is right back in the trenches of cancer.

But as I continue to mull this over, I also realized that what I was really trying to do with all of this is to help people, and yes I include myself, find a way to flourish because of and despite having cancer.  Because of the beautiful and majestic viewpoint of all those simple joy-filled day to day moments that most people miss in the busyness of their daily lives.  Despite the unseen limitations that cancer and treatment impose on your body and the fear it instills in your mind.

You see, I know that even though the days and nights ahead may be challenging, I also know that there will be many joy-filled moments that I will be taking in.  Once again I will be reminded that those simple moments, like sitting next to my husband in the early morning and having a cup of tea or coffee, are the wonderful simple moments that a life is made of.  And they are not guaranteed.   

I also know that I can find a way to flourish during treatment.  Flourishing means growing, thriving, prospering.  Certainly, I will grow as a person during treatment.  Experiences, good or challenging, make us change in some way.  Can I thrive?  Yes, I can grow mentally and prosper in my love and joy in life in the environment that I have been handed.  Yes, it will look very different than if I was again in the after cancer, but flourishing is still doable.  None of us needs a perfect environment to flourish or thrive.  In fact, there is never a perfect environment.  We all always just do the best we can with what we have.  And I plan on finding a way to find the joy in the difficult and uncertain.  And by showing you how I am doing it maybe it will help you flourish just a little more too.  Or maybe, and hopefully, you will show me a better or different way to flourish.  I would love to hear from you.

I will continue to document my journey and write about the struggles and the triumphs of my cancer journey.  The struggles and triumphs of a cancer patient and a cancer survivor, whether in treatment or in the after cancer, because ultimately the struggles, while different are also surprisingly similar.  As for the next few months, my amazing husband, family, support system and prayer warriors have already stepped up.  And while 2024 will not be the year I had hoped for, it is a year that I am again reminded how much I am loved and cared for.  Ultimately, that is a very good year.

Finding Happiness in the Everday

Finding happiness has long been the holy grail for a good life.  It is always in the future, a goal.  As if happiness were an endgame and once you find it, you will forever be happy.  But happiness is elusive, and what brings you happiness in one moment of life, once that “thing” that brought you happiness is part of your everyday life, it no longer brings as much fulfillment and joy as it did at first.  The search then begins for the next new “thing” that will make us happy.  We are living in the future, with “When I (fill in the blank) I will be happy.”

As a cancer survivor, we’ve been jarred into the reality that the future is not promised to any of us and the search for happiness becomes marred by getting caught up in its uncertainty and the “what-if’s”.  The “what if the cancer comes back,” “what if my fatigue/pain/nausea/brain fog never goes away,” “what if I lose my health insurance,” “what if my health insurance won’t cover my medicine or treatment,” “what if I can’t afford my treatment,” “will my family be okay if I don’t make it/if I do make it and I’m not the same,” “will people still love me now that I am broken.” The “what if’s” become a never ending list cycling in our head. 

While we may do it differently, facing the issue of our own mortality is common for cancer survivors.  Some of us have faced it head on, and pondered it emotionally, in therapy, and or with our loved ones.  Others, while vehemently denying it or the gravity of their illness, have had those moments in the darkness in the middle of the night and have at least had a fleeting thought about it.  It’s inevitable when you hear the word “cancer”.  If we can stop the cycle of the “what if’s” and all the energy we pour into resisting our illness or diagnosis or prognosis for just a moment, our search for “happiness” becomes much clearer. 

Webster’s Merriam Dictionary describes the word “happy” as a feeling of contentment or satisfaction.  So that promotion or house or relationship or whatever, will give you that feeling of contentment or satisfaction for the moment. But it won’t make you happy in the sense that it won’t give you a happy life. Happiness in that regard, is more a general state of being something that on the surface seems more difficult to obtain.  But the funny thing is, finding “happiness” or being “happy” is a lot easier than we think and can often be found right in front of us. 

Once you are faced with a life-threatening illness, if you let yourself delve into the abyss, you have a deeper or maybe just different understanding of the true meaning of happiness.  It’s so simple because it is found in the simple everyday things.  Those little moments become and truly are profound moments.  Waking up and still being alive.  Taking that next breath.  Being able to move your body just a little.  Or taking a few more steps than you did yesterday.  Watching the sunrise, the sunset.  Seeing the clouds in the sky.  Watching the birds soaring in the sky.  Really looking at a leaf, at a flower and thinking about how they grew from a tiny seed.  Truly seeing the person with whom you share your life with.  Seeing a baby smile.  Petting a puppy or your fur baby. 

The recognition that we have all of these little moments daily that are profound, that are wonderous, and that are awe inspiring is a reminder that happiness or contentment is all around us every day.  Waiting for the taking.  Waiting for us to recognize and appreciate it.    These micro moments of awe and wonder are what happiness is about.  Our days our filled with them.  Moments of contentment.  We just have to wake up and notice them.

2024 Goal Setting

The New Year is upon us and the focus on social media is all about resolutions and setting up those big goals for 2024 so that you have a clear picture of what you want to accomplish this year.  A benchmark to measure your success or failure at the end of the year.  Not to discourage you, but the truth is, only a small percentage of people each year keep their resolutions so what we are really setting ourselves up for is not this huge win at the end of the year, but for feeling disappointed.  Instead, how about we try to be just a little bit better each month. 

We can all benefit from trying to live a healthier lifestyle.  This is even truer for cancer survivors.  What research has found is that there are six pillars to healthier lifestyle, an anti-cancer lifestyle.  These pillars include exercise, community, stress, sleep, diet, and environment.  Want to learn more?  Check out more from the groundbreaking book, Anti-Cancer Living, Transform Your Life and Health with the Mix of Six by Lorenzo Cohen PhD and Alison Jeffries MEd, or the Anti-Cancer Lifestyle Program here.

Since long term habits are so hard to accomplish, resolutions are so easy to break, and big changes are so hard to make, I thought, why not start small.  Why not focus on one pillar each month for six months, and then start over again the following six months.  The goal at the end of the month is not to make a big gain, but to make a small incremental improvement that is easy to maintain.  Now full disclosure here, I am not a doctor, a physical therapist, or personal trainer.  This is simply my idea for how I am going to approach things in a way that is doable for me.  Please, please, please, before starting any new health or wellness program, discuss it with your doctor and health care team first.

For January, since so much of the media focus is on exercise, losing weight and getting in shape.  I thought I would start there, but not exercise and weight loss, just simple movement.  Consider trying this. If you currently use a Fitbit or some other type of health tracking device, how about starting with a goal of simply increasing your steps by the end of the month.  On a smaller scale, I personally like looking at weeks not days, because some days are just too full, or we are just too fatigued to get a lot of steps in.  Take me, I may be able to do a moderate hike today, but tomorrow and maybe even the next day, I may need to rest more, reducing my steps on those days.  So I am going to look at a weekly benchmark and try to increase my steps each week.  And it doesn’t have to be thousands of steps increase, maybe it is only 100, or 50, or even 25.  Any increase is a win.  And a win gives us motivation to keep going and lets us know that improvement is doable.

I also like other movement activities and have practiced Qi Gong on and off for several years.  It has helped with my energy, flexibility, and balance so I am going to try to incorporate that into my week, even if it’s only once a week, to try and make it a regular practice again.  Simple goals, increase what I am doing by just a little.  Hopefully a win at the end of the month.

Now if you’re a little more ambitious, there are free exercise and fitness programs out there for cancer survivors.  Live Strong at the YMCA conducts in person classes.  You can check here to see if there is a program near you locally.  Virtually, you can find resources about cancer survivorship and fitness from the Anti-Cancer Lifestyle Program here. 

So who is in with me?  Who is willing to take a step into a healthier lifestyle and try and move just a little bit more by the end of the month? 

Holiday Emotional Hijack

Like many of us, decorating the Christmas tree is one of the tasks for the holiday season.  It can entail joyful anticipation, dread, or both.  My recent jaunt into the Christmas tree decorating realm had me anticipating it with a bit of delight, sparking holiday spirit.  And then it came. Enter the Holiday Emotional Hijack.

After my absolute favorite task of putting the lights on the Christmas tree with my husband, no pun intended, I put some holiday music on an got on with the task of adorning the tree with those magical decorations.  Singing along to the holiday tunes, putting those sparkling red, green, and gold ornaments on the tree, and just being happy and joyful.  And then it hit me.  The tears started flowing.  Those holiday favorites, “There’s No Place Like Home for the Holidays,” and “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” did it.  I was missing my mom and dad who have been gone for almost 30 years and 14 years respectively.  I was reminiscing about all those Christmases past, with a house full of relatives:  family, drama, laughs, and love.  The whole gamut of wonder.  Thinking about all the people that are no longer with us and the ones who won’t be able to come home for the holidays anymore.  I was missing the boisterous festivities and the grand gatherings.

After loving hugs from my husband, I recovered and continued with my decorating.  Then came the next round.  Only this time I full out lost it.  Tears, sobs.  The emotions of the last two years came flowing out of me.  The cancer diagnosis and treatment and all the losses.   Losing my mother-in-law; losing Lori, my partner in this crazy ovarian cancer journey; losing my old self and trying to figure out who I was now, the one with limitations.  The emotions that normally are held at bay suddenly flowed to the surface.  All unexpectedly while decorating the Christmas tree.  So, what did I do?

I embraced it.  Every single feeling.  Of sadness.  Of loss.  Of overwhelm. Of the reality of what I went through.  Of the preciousness of life, and love, and family, and health.  Of the happiness and smiles and warm feeling that all those memories of Christmas past gave me.  Of the memories of the laughter.  The drama that was survived.  And oh yes, there were times when there was drama.  Lots of it.  The surprises.  The traditions.  The simple act of being together with people you love and care about during this magical time of year.  Of remembering what Christmas is truly about.

What I discovered as I explored and embraced this journey of Holiday Emotional Hijack that brought me down into the depths of sadness and grief was also so much joy.  So much goodness.  So much gratitude.  I realized that to have all those strong feelings, I had to also have all those memories.  It was my experiences that gave rise to all those strong emotions.  Had I turned away from the feelings and the emotional hijack, I would have missed the blessing that was waiting there for me.  How grateful and lucky I am to have those memories to look back on.  To have felt the love and laughter of family, both my given family and my chosen family.  And grateful most of all, that I am here to celebrate another Christmas.  Another holiday.  However small or big.  Another chance to make memories.  Embrace new traditions.  And savor every moment in this wonderful thing we call life.

Gratitude as a Cancer Survivor

It is November.  Thanksgiving and the beginning of the holiday season.  It’s a cozy comfy month, signifying lower temperatures and warm fires, hot chocolate or mulled wines, wrapping up projects, harvesting the fruit of our crops, and coming together with family and friends.  It is associated with feelings of thanks and gratitude: for others, for our bounty, and for our community.  In all these expressions of thanks, however, we often forget to give thanks for the biggest part of our life, ourselves. 

As a cancer survivor, we are sometimes stuck in the cycle of anticipation and anxiety, frustration and sadness, or even anger.  Anticipation and anxiety over what the future holds for us.  Frustration and sadness that our body is not doing what it is supposed to do or what we want it to do.  Sometimes our anger is directed outward and sometimes it is directed right back at us, at our bodies that we feel betrayed us with this evil thing known as cancer.  And while all feelings are valid, I would challenge you to look at your body and yourself with gratitude.

Give thanks that your body is trying.  It is trying to fight this beast called cancer.  How do we know, because the body is set up biologically to heal and protect itself.  It may not have been strong enough at the time to stave off cancer, but it is trying.  Sometimes it needs a little help – medication, nutrition, rest.  Give thanks to your body for all it is doing to try and keep you healthy and strong.  Even when it fails at times, like we all do, it is trying.

Give thanks for those scars: from surgery, from radiation, from your port.  They are reminders of your fight, of your strength, of your fortitude.  Beautiful scars that remind us despite this cancer that was inside of us and that may still be inside of us, we fought and are not accepting any fate other than life.

Give thanks for your diagnosis, for without it the cancer would have been left unchecked, continuing to grow and ravage your body.  Your diagnosis is nothing short of a blessing and something to be so thankful for.  Now you can do something about cancer, where before your diagnosis, when you didn’t know you had cancer, you could not.

Give thanks for yourself and for your life.  Thanks that you get to spend one more holiday with your loved ones.  Thanks that you get to eat turkey, whether you love it or hate it, one more Thursday in November.  Give thanks that you are still here.  We all know that there are so many others who are not.  So many families grieving their loved ones, the first or the twentieth Thanksgiving without them.  Give thanks that despite what you may no longer be able to do, you can spread your love and your kindness out to your family, friends and the world.  In the end, that may be enough.  As Meister Eckhart so eloquently put it, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”  Give thanks.

3 Takeaways From the Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance 2023 Annual Conference

Recently I attended the Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance’s 2023 Annual Conference, Uniting for Hope.  To say the conference was impressive is an understatement.  There was a multitude of topics covered over the three days that impacted not only ovarian cancer patients and survivors but other cancer patient and survivors as well.  One of the highlights was the closing session, the heartfelt interview with “Life, Interrupted,” NY Times columnist and author of “Between Two Kingdoms,” fellow cancer survivor, Suleika Jaouad.   It was impossible not to be wowed by Suleika’s strength and vulnerability as she shares her journey with the world.

On to my takeaways.  While I found great value in all the sessions I attended, these three takeaways are vitally important to ovarian and other cancer survivors and the public.  They have the potential to decrease the risk of cancer, increase early diagnosis, ensure that cancer patients have the medications and information needed to treat their disease, and ultimately save lives.  Here’s what you need to know.

Genetic Testing 

While inherited genetic mutations account for only approximately 10% of all cancers, genetic testing is underutilized as a preventative tool.  This is one area where we can do better.  Why is it so important?  In life, as in the cancer world, once you know you are at risk for something you can take steps to mitigate that risk.  While genetic testing won’t prevent you from getting cancer, as far as I know there is nothing that can prevent you from getting cancer, if you are at risk due to an inherited genetic mutation there may be steps that you can take to reduce your risk.  This includes knowing the signs and symptoms of the cancer you may be at risk for.  This knowledge provides you the opportunity to recognize the symptoms and seek medical advice and treatment while the disease is at an early stage.  The earlier cancer is detected, the better chance there is to successfully treat it.

The second benefit to genetic testing is that if you know your risk and you do develop cancer, it gives your medical team information so that they may be able to tailor your treatment and options specifically to you.  There may be treatment protocols that apply to your specific genetic mutation, or a clinical trial addressing your situation, possibly providing you with the chance for a better outcome or at least more treatment options.

The third benefit to genetic testing is knowledge for your family.  If you have an inherited genetic mutation, you received it from either your mother, your father, or both.  That means that they have increased risk for cancer, as well as your siblings, children and grandchildren.  There also may be a risk to your second-degree relatives, like aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews.  If you have a known inherited genetic mutation, you can communicate that risk to your family member so that they too can take steps to reduce their risk of cancer.  Genetic counselors can help if you have concerns about how to talk to your family. You may be saving the lives of the people you love.  Talk to your doctor or a genetic specialist about testing.  Check out OCRA’s genetic testing, free for qualified individuals.

Lowering the Risk of Ovarian Cancer

Ovarian cancer is particularly difficult to treat as there are no screenings and the symptoms are often subtle until the disease is at an advanced stage.  This has led ovarian cancer to be known as the silent killer.  Like all cancers, ovarian cancer is not preventable but there is now a powerful recommendation for women to lower their risk of ovarian cancer. 

Studies show that most ovarian cancers (70%), start in the fallopian tubes.  As far as we know, the fallopian tubes provide no other function than for childbearing.  A recently released recommendation asks women who are finished having children, are having another pelvic surgery for a benign condition, or at high risk to talk to their medical provider about preventatively removing their fallopian tubes to reduce their risk of ovarian cancer.

The important thing here is to get the word out and get women talking to their physicians to see if this is right for them.  We may not be able to prevent ovarian cancer, but now there is something we can do to potentially lower the risk. 

Chemotherapy Shortage 

The third takeaway is about the chemotherapy shortage that started about a year ago.  If you are not aware, there was a critical shortage of 15 of the most common drugs used to treat cancer patients.  This shortage impacted an astounding number of cancer patients.  As a result of the shortage, providers had to adjust the doses that were being administered, extend the time between the chemotherapy doses, or change a patient’s treatment plan to a different more readily available chemotherapy drug.  In speaking with providers that I know, I learned that some of these available chemotherapy drugs, while similar in effectiveness also lead to more side effects.  This impacts a cancer patient’s recovery from both a physical and emotional standpoint.  And I can tell you as someone who was not going through chemotherapy during the shortage, as a cancer survivor my anxiety increased as I not only worried about a recurrence, but I was now also worried if there would be medication to treat it.

Drug shortages are not a new problem, but they are becoming more frequent.  What I learned at the conference is that these medications that are vital to the life of so many cancer patients are not listed on the FDA’s List of Essential Medicines.  The goal of the Essential Medicines List is to have medically necessary medicines available at all times and in an adequate amount to serve patient needs, to ensure production of these medicines, and to minimize potential shortages.  Chemotherapy drugs are medically necessary drugs needed to save the lives of cancer patients.  They need to be on the list of Essential Medicines.

 Shortages are also complex in their origin and solution.  For instance, some of the disruptions are due to supply chain issues.  Others have to do with manufacturing as there is little incentive for the manufacturers to continue production as many of the drugs are generic, manufactured out of the country, and/or provide a very low profit margin.  And when shortages do occur, there is no Federal agency designated to intervene and assist.  A clear change needs to happen in this area so that manufacturers have an incentive to continue manufacturing these drugs, and to ensure there is an agency responsible to immediately address the shortage so that cancer patients can receive the lifesaving chemotherapy they need.  Lives depend on it.

To find out more visit the End Shortages Alliance at www.enddrugshortages.com and view the Society for Gynecologic Oncology’s webinars on the chemotherapy drug shortage found on their website, www.sgo.org under the News and Resources tab.

5 Gratitude Journal Prompts for Cancer Survivors

It’s November.  Think turkey, family, togetherness, and Thanksgiving.  That one big day a year that we are supposed to feel oh so thankful.  But what if we aren’t feeling that warm, cozy, life is good feeling? Maybe we can’t be with our family.  Maybe we just still aren’t feeling all that great.  Maybe we’re feeling guilty because we are cancer free but instead of feeling gratitude, we are thinking about the things that we lost from having cancer.   What do we do if this November we just aren’t feeling it? 

Research has shown that gratitude may decrease anxiety and depression and may increase well-being and relieve stress.  Now a whole gratitude practice, over time, can help us track our growth, gain perspective, and increase our state of well-being.  But you can’t just force gratitude.  It must be genuine to really give us that feel good feeling.  And if you want to start in November with a gratitude practice, well if you’re not feeling it, that’s going to be a tough one to reach.  Journaling can also help reduce stress and anxiety, increase health and well-being and help us process emotions.  So maybe if we just aren’t feeling those warm and fuzzy thankful feelings maybe a little consistent journaling about gratitude can help get us in the mood.  Here are five journaling prompts to try.

1. Describe something that you now see beauty in that you did not before you had cancer.

2. Describe how a relationship strengthened after your cancer diagnosis.

3. Remember an act of kindness that was bestowed upon you during your cancer journey.

4. What is one thing besides your health that you took for granted before your diagnosis that you now treasure.

5. What bad habit did you have that you had to let go of because of your cancer.

Now which of these prompts made you remember something that you forgot or put a smile on your face?  Let’s take this one step further.  Because it’s not only feeling those feelings of gratitude that helps relieve symptoms of depression and anxiety, but it’s also in the act of doing for others, acts of service that can increase our sense of well-being. 

This November, the month of Thanksgiving, and the month that includes World Kindness Day, let’s pay it forward.  Here are five ways to try. 

1. Send a note of thanks to your oncologist, nurse practitioner, nurse, or treatment team.

2. Bake something for a neighbor.

3. Call or text a friend or family member and tell them you love them, or just tell them you’re thinking of them.  Out of the blue.  No other explanation.

4. Text or call that person who you now have a stronger relationship with and let them know that you are so grateful for how your relationship grew and got stronger during your cancer journey.

5. Thank that person that did something kind for you during your treatment and let them know, however long ago it was, that you remember and that it meant a lot to you then and now.

Which one will you do?

Let’s Talk About Pancreatic Cancer

November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month. Here’s what you need to know.

It is estimated that approximately 64,000 people will be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the United States in 2023, or about 175 people a day.

What are the risk factors for pancreatic cancer? Risk factors include diabetes, chronic pancreatitis, smoking, African American race, age (almost all patients are over the age of 45 and two thirds are 65 years of age or older), male gender, obesity, inherited genetic mutations, and a family history of pancreatic cancer.

What are the signs and symptoms of pancreatic cancer? Signs and symptoms of pancreatic cancer may include pain (typically in the abdomen or back), unintended weight loss, and jaundice. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, see your health care provider.

What can I do to prevent pancreatic cancer? There are currently no ways to prevent pancreatic cancer but there are things you can do to lower your risk.

What can I do to reduce my risk of Pancreatic cancer? While you cannot do anything about some of the risk factors, inherited genetic mutations/age/race/ethnicity/gender, you may be able to lower your risk by not smoking or quitting smoking if you do smoke, eating a healthy diet, maintaining a healthy weight, and avoiding or limiting alcohol use.

For more information: More information can be found at the American Cancer Society, the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, and by talking with your health care provider.

Let’s Talk About Lung Cancer

November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month. Here’s what you need to know.

Lung cancer is one of the most common forms of cancer in the United States and is the leading cause of cancer deaths. The good news is that lung cancer rates are decreasing nationally as fewer people are smoking cigarettes (the number one cause of lung cancer) and as treatments continue to improve.

What are the risk factors for lung cancer? Risk factors include cigarette smoking, tobacco use (i.e., pipes and cigars), secondhand smoke, exposure to chemicals such as radon or asbestos, inherited genetic mutations, and a family history of lung cancer. According to the Center for Disease Control, people who smoke cigarettes are 15 to 30 times more likely to get or die from lung cancer than people who do not smoke. Although you will still be at higher risk than someone who has never smoked, if you currently smoke you can lower your risk of lung cancer by quitting smoking. Radon, is the second leading cause of lung cancer.

What are the signs and symptoms of lung cancer? Many people with lung cancer don’t have symptoms until the cancer is advanced. Signs and symptoms of lung cancer may include coughing that worsens or doesn’t go away, chest pain, shortness of breath, wheezing, coughing up blood, fatigue, and weight loss. These signs and symptoms also occur during other illnesses. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, see your health care provider.

What can I do to prevent lung cancer? There are currently no ways to prevent lung cancer but there are things you can do to lower your risk.

What can I do to reduce my risk of lung cancer? Since cigarette smoking causes 80-90% of lung cancer, the biggest thing you can do to lower your risk is don’t start smoking. If you currently smoke cigarettes, stop. Avoid second-hand smoke and make smoke free zones in your home and in your car. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency recommends all homes be tested for radon. Check here for more information and how to get your home tested. Additionally, screening with a low-dose CT Scan may be recommended for certain high risk individuals. Talk to your health care provider about the recommended screening for your situation.

For more information see: The information above was obtained from the Center for Disease Control. More information can be found here or by talking with your health care provider.

Living Beyond Cancer, Some Thoughts

As we move into the last weekend of Breast Cancer Awareness Month let’s keep the theme of Living Beyond Cancer in mind not just for our fellow breast cancer survivors, but for all cancer survivors.

As cancer survivors, we have learned first hand the preciousness, power, and beauty not only of life, but of our own health. We may have been given a second, third, fourth, or who knows what number chance at life. A chance to reinvent ourselves. A chance to live differently, more fully, than we did before. Let’s not take that for granted. Let’s honor it.

Let’s honor it by not just getting through the hustle and bustle of the day to day, but by choosing how we want our day to day to look like. Saying no to the things that we don’t want to do. Saying yes to the things that we know ring true to our soul, the things that make us smile. The things that exhilarate us. The things that bring us joy and peace. Let’s start including them in our day to day, even if it is only for a few minutes each day at first.

While focusing on those things that bring us joy, we need to remember to also include doing something that scares us just a little. Something that we want to do but are afraid to do. Because as cancer survivors we have already lived through the scariest thing, facing our own mortality. So let’s take one step towards that thing we’ve always wanted to do or try but are afraid to. Because to truly live beyond cancer, you and I have to live beyond what we think we are capable of. We have to stretch ourselves. We have to embrace the life that we have been given, whatever it looks like, in spite of and because of it looking different than it did before. Embrace it and jump in!

In Honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and all of the brave Breast Cancer Survivors out there.

Cancer: How My Diagnosis Opened Me Up to Life

For many, when you hear the word “cancer,” it immediately emits feelings of fear and anxiety.  In the not so distant past when someone was diagnosed with cancer it was thought of as a death sentence.  Now, with over 18 million cancer survivors, that is not necessarily the case.  We, collectively as cancer survivors, are learning how to live with the uncertainty of our diagnosis and with the anxiety and fear of a recurrence always hovering in the background. But my cancer diagnosis was also a blessing in disguise. 

 You see, prior to my diagnosis I was part Type A personality.  While I learned the value of time a long time ago and tried to live my values of kindness, compassion, and appreciation of life; there was also my evil twin lurking inside who was sort of a control freak.  I wasn’t spontaneous.  I always had to have a plan.  What were we doing.  Where were we going.  Planning for various scenarios – bad weather, too crowded, no parking.  What was our Plan B.  Quite frankly, it could be and was exhausting.  Becoming an attorney just enhanced that negative part of me.  I saw liability everywhere.  We couldn’t do this or that because we could get hurt.  We could inadvertently hurt someone else.  We could get sued.  On and on it went.

 Then along came cancer.  Something I couldn’t really have a Plan B for.  What was Plan B – I died, I lived, I lived but with limitations, I had to continue with treatment for how long??  The questions went on and on.  Truth be told, once I was diagnosed, I couldn’t go into Plan B thinking.  I was just too tired.  Now I did plan for how to help myself during treatment.  You can check out my blog, “Three Things That Helped Prepare My Cancer Journey” here, for more information.  But I couldn’t plan for anything else.

 Once I completed treatment though, things were different.  I could plan, but part of me was too afraid to plan too much.  I learned just how much planning can be derailed when I got diagnosed.  But a funny thing happened after my treatment ended.  Maybe I realized that I wasn’t really letting myself live.  Holding myself back.  Or maybe I understood just how precious my time and my life was.  Maybe I just wanted to jump back in to living.

Hiking at Fort Mountain State Park

 What I started to do, without realizing it, was I started to take more chances.  I went to survivor camp without really knowing the people running the camp, what we would be doing, or where the camp was other than a remote area high in the mountains of Colorado.  I tried snowshoeing, sledding, cross country skiing.  I went hiking - moderate trails, on the side of mountains, on rocky terrains, on a guided cliff tour where there were risks of slipping and falling.  I cycled through the up and down terrain of Cades Cove in the Great Smokey Mountain National Park.  I took a cave tour at Mammoth Cave National Park.  I kayaked seven miles down the Green River in Kentucky. 

 And do you know what happened?  I survived it all.  And while some of it didn’t turn out exactly as I had thought it would, I have so many stories now of embracing life that make me smile.  And while these adventures are treasured memories, they have also come with new challenges too. I have had some panic attacks which are new to me, but I am working through them. Some were disappointing, my panic attack at Great Smokey National Park prevented me from seeing the bear on the bike ride at Cades Cove.  But my panic attack on the cliff dwelling tour where I had to stop and take a break, breathe, and sit down before I kept going was a win because I learned how to calm myself down, focus and keep going.  And then there was surprisingly no panic attack during the raging thunderstorm on the kayak trip - progress! I learned I could paddle really fast if I had to!

 Ultimately what I learned through it all is that I had gained inner strength that I didn’t know I had.  Now some of those challenges may sound small to you.  But they were big to me at the time.  And through them all I kept thinking: I got through surgery, chemo, and my cancer diagnosis.  I can get through this.  And I did.  The unexpected blessing of cancer:  opening me up to truly living.

 What has your cancer diagnosis opened you up to?

When Those Waves of Cancer Hit

Coping with a cancer diagnosis is a lot like coping with grief.  You think you’re rolling along with life and doing fine and then you are hit with unexpected waves of anxiety, fear, and yes even grief.  Anxiety about the cancer coming back, fear about going through treatment again or of dying, and grief over the life that you have lost. To say the least it can be a lot.

Feelings can blindside you in a lot of unexpected ways.  Maybe you’re watching a movie or a television show or reading a novel and someone gets diagnosed with cancer or dies from cancer.  Maybe you hear about a friend or a public figure that has just been diagnosed, and it brings back those moments when you were newly diagnosed.  Or that public figure has died from cancer, and it triggers your fear of dying or anxiety about the legacy that you are leaving.

The thing about having cancer is that it's not a finite thing.  It’s not like you have a cold or get your appendix removed and recover and life goes on.  Sure, you complete treatment and life does go on, but it is different now and there are a lot more potholes along the way.  Some you can see, and some come up unexpectedly.  So, what can you do when that wave that is cancer overtakes you?

The first thing to do about coping with those unexpected waves is to get grounded in the moment, right here and right now.   Take a moment, close your eyes and just breathe.  Take a few deep breaths.  Feel your feet on the ground, your clothes touching your skin. Listen to the sounds around you.  Smell the fresh air around you – maybe there is coffee or tea brewing, or something in the oven.  Feel your presence right where you are.  Just for a moment, be.  When you are truly in the moment there is no anxiety, there is no fear, there is no grief.  You are not in the future, anxious and fearful, and you are not in the past, lamenting what was. 

The next thing to do is to applaud your trigger.  Yup, you heard me right.  See, our mind protects us from what we are not able to cope with.  Once we are healed enough, the feelings start to trickle in.  If you are triggered, your mind is sending you a message that you are safe to feel your feelings.  So, take a cue from your mind and do just that.  Cry if you need to, sob even. Those big ugly full body sobs, nose running and all.  If you are angry, be angry.  Now I’m not talking about rage, which is different. You may need help if you are feeling rage.  I’m talking about anger.  One way to deal with anger is to get physical.  Dance.   Go hit some golf balls, tennis balls.  Chop some wood.  Do something physical and hard.  Or try some longer deep breathing exercises or meditation.  Journal or write out your feelings.  Create.  Rest.  Sleep if you need to.  Your mind is healing, and emotional triggers can be exhausting.  Thank your body for healing and give it the rest it needs to recover. Give yourself the Grace that you would give others.

Finally, don’t wallow in it or criticize yourself for being triggered.  Cancer is an ugly beast in so many ways.  It ravages your body, but it also ravages your mind.  And it lingers and continues to live with you, newly diagnosed, in treatment, post treatment.  I would say don’t welcome it in, but it takes too much energy and life force to kick it out.  It will keep coming back anyway.  Relentless.  So, understand, that it will pop up sometimes, like the waves in the ocean.  Sometimes those waves are big and angry and sometimes they gently make their way to the shore.  But they do make their way.  Eventually.  And you will too.  Just be patient with yourself.  Healing your mind from cancer is like healing from grief.  You know you are healing when the waves still come but they are further apart and the feelings associated with them become milder.  Most importantly, if you find yourself having difficulty coping, it’s okay to seek professional help.  We all need a boost when life gets tough.  You don’t have to do it all alone. 

Let’s Talk About Breast Cancer

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Here’s what you need to know.

Approximately 297,790 women and 2,800 men are expected to be diagnosed with breast cancer in 2023. Yes, men can get breast cancer too! Breast cancer is the most common cancer among women in the United States as almost 13% of women will be diagnosed with breast cancer at some point in their lifetime. It is the second leading cause of cancer deaths for women. Death rates from breast cancer have been declining since 1989, mostly attributed to increased awareness, earlier diagnosis, and treatment options.

What are the risk factors for breast cancer? Risk factors for women include being female, age (getting older), a family or personal history of breast cancer, and inherited genetic mutations. Risk factors for men include age, a family history of breast cancer, being overweight/obese, and having diabetes.

What are the signs and symptoms of breast cancer? Signs and symptoms for women include but are not limited to a lump in the breast; swelling, warmth, redness or darkening of the breast; change in breast size; dimpling of the skin; itchy or scaly nipple; sudden nipple discharge, or new pain in the breast that doesn’t go away. Signs and symptoms for men include but are not limited to a change in the size or shape the nipple; dimpling or redness on the skin of the breast; nipples that are itchy, scaly, sore, or have a rash; pulling of the skin on the nipple; and nipple discharge. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, see your health care provider.

What can I do to prevent breast cancer? There are currently no ways to prevent breast cancer.

What can I do to reduce my risk of breast cancer? Women can reduce their risk of breast cancer by staying at a healthy weight, being physically active, and avoiding or limiting alcohol. Women who are at a higher risk of breast cancer should talk to their health care provider to see if genetic testing, certain medicines, or preventative surgery is right for them. The American Cancer Society now recommends annual mammogram screenings for women beginning at age 45 (the previous recommendation was age 40) and every two years beginning at age 55. If you are at high risk these recommendations may be different. Talk to your health care provider about the recommended screening for your situation.

For more information see: The information above was obtained from the websites from The American Cancer Society and the Susan G. Komen website. More information can be found by contacting these organizations or by talking with your health care provider.

Acceptance Helps Me Find Peace

At first glance you might think, how in the world does accepting your cancer give you peace?  We shouldn’t accept it.  If we accept that we have cancer than we are not fighting it.  If we accept that we have cancer, aren’t we are giving cancer permission to coexist in our mind and body?  Aren’t we supposed to be a “Warrior” in the fight against cancer?  There is no acceptance when you are a “Warrior”.  But what if we could look at acceptance in a different light?

Defining “Acceptance” Differently

“Acceptance” is described as an agreement that something is either right or approved of.  When we allow something in, we accept it.  Well, that is certainly isn’t what we want to do with cancer.  We don’t want to approve of it, to think it is okay, to accept the fate of a cancer diagnosis, to be resigned to it.  That goes against everything we think of when we think we have to “fight” cancer and be a “Warrior”.

But what if we defined acceptance a little differently?  What if, instead of looking at acceptance as something we allow in, or approve of, we look at it only as something that just IS, in this exact moment.  What if it is an agreement that today, just today, I have cancer; that today I am a cancer survivor who is struggling; that today I am a cancer survivor who is fatigued; that today I am a cancer survivor who is anxious; that today I am just a cancer survivor?  Nothing more.  No judgement.  No acceptance that I am a struggling cancer survivor and that I will always be struggling.  No acceptance that I have cancer and I will always have cancer.  Just, this is me at this present moment. 

When you accept something as it is, today, what you are really doing is allowing peace to coexist with your experience.  By accepting, we are not in “Warrior” mode, sword ready to take on the latest threat.  We are not expending energy that we don’t have on ruminating or wishing for what isn’t our reality today or on what could be our reality tomorrow. That’s not to say that accepting is saying I’m not getting treatment, I don’t care if treatment works.  It just says that today, I accept what is.  I have cancer.  I am a cancer survivor.

What Acceptance Looked Like During My Cancer Treatment Journey

A wise psychologist and mentor once told me that when you have something that triggers a strong emotion in you, instead of fighting it, examining it, running the scenarios about why I reacted that way, wondering what caused it and what can I do so it doesn’t happen again, or catastrophizing it, simply look at it and say, “Hmm . . . how interesting”.  That’s it.  Don’t stress yourself out, don’t put yourself through more emotional turmoil, just take note of it and move on. 

When I learned of my cancer diagnosis, of course it triggered strong emotions. Yes, I am not going to lie, there were many tears of sadness and fear for the future, but I didn’t rant or rage.  I didn’t wonder why me.  I simply accepted that yes, I have cancer.  It wasn’t good or bad, it just was. Maybe I was just numb or in shock or maybe my social work and attorney training kicked in and I became objective about my situation.  I’m not sure.  But during treatment, this mindset worked for me.

Now this may not resonate with you at all.  And I am not saying that if you ranted and raged, sobbed, or asked “why me,” that you did it wrong or that I handled it better than you. We all need to find ways to safely release those strong emotions we have in a way that works for us.   Trust me, there were many moments that I didn’t handle my cancer journey with grace and acceptance.  If I am being totally honest, I still have those days sometimes.  I’m just saying that on the days that I was most peaceful, this is what worked for me, and when I could get to a place of acceptance and objectivity without judgment, my diagnosis and treatment journey were emotionally easier for me.

This mindset was most helpful during treatment because I didn’t know what to expect so I had no expectations. It was a little more difficult, or truth be told it was a lot more difficult to get to “acceptance” after treatment.  Mostly because my expectations were that I would finish treatment and be back to my old self.  I had no idea that I would have to discover a new normal.  So, I spent a lot of time and energy in “Warrior” mode fighting what was – Why can’t I do this anymore?  Why am I so fatigued?  What’s wrong with me?  Why are other cancer survivors not struggling like I am?  I must not be trying hard enough because I don’t feel like I’m back to normal.  It created a lot of turmoil in me.  Emotionally, I was a mess.  Once I accepted that this is where I am in this moment, today, I found inner peace and suddenly a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Getting to Acceptance After Treatment

Acceptance sounds great.  But how exactly do you get to acceptance? Acceptance sure doesn’t come easy.  We have a natural tendency to fight something we don’t like or to run away from it.  Yes, sometimes acceptance is a simple, “Hmm, that’s interesting,” file it away and move on, but sometimes, especially with the hard stuff, it’s a little more difficult to get there.  For me, there were two things that helped me. They both circle back to gratitude.

Acceptance via Gratitude

First, I started to look at where I was physically during diagnosis and treatment versus where I was after treatment. I balanced every negative with a positive.  Even though I am nauseous today, yesterday I felt good.  Even though I need to rest after taking a long walk, I am grateful that I can walk.  Even though I am fatigued, I have a comfy chair to rest in.  Even though I sometimes have chemo brain and can’t find my words, I can still communicate with those that I love, and they understand what I’m trying to say.   Even though I may not be able to practice my profession anymore, I am still able to help people through compassion, kindness, understanding, and through things like Surviving to Flourishing.

Secondly, and I hate to sound like all the self-help gurus out there, but I started to look at the things in life I had to be grateful for.  I was grateful for watching a sunrise, a sunset, the wind blowing through the trees, the birds soaring through the sky, the flowers inching their way up through the soil.  I was grateful for a warm bed, a good cup of coffee, my favorite reading chair, my sunroom, my favorite blanket.   I was grateful for a hug, for being able to talk with my adult children, for the friends and family that were checking in on me to make sure I was okay, for love from my fur babies.  I was grateful for what I could do.  I could get out of bed. I could shower myself (something I couldn’t do after surgery). I could take a deep breath. I could feel the coziness of my soft pajamas.  I was grateful for being able to hear my favorite music, for the birds singing, and even my dogs barking.  I was grateful I could look up.  Yes, so many little big things to be grateful for.

I won’t say that gratitude heals everything, because gratitude doesn’t take away the hurt, the sadness, or the frustration.  What I will say is gratitude helped to dissipate the negative feelings about where I was and where I am in my cancer journey.  For every negative thought or circumstance, I can think of a positive one to replace it.  The biggest takeaway for me was that even though life looked and still looks different than before, it is still life.  Something that I never take for granted anymore.  By accepting that life looks different now and realizing that even though it looks different there is still so much to be grateful for, I have been able to find peace in my cancer journey.  How about you?  Where in your journey have you been able to find acceptance, gratitude, and peace?

How Gardening Helps My Cancer Journey

I was about halfway through my six rounds of chemotherapy, with winter and its cold and gloomy days soon to accompany my sometimes-gloomy mood when I decided that I wanted to plant a garden for spring.  Now I wasn’t quite sure what kind of gardening I wanted to do, flowers or vegetables, but I just thought it sounded like a good idea.  Google to the rescue.  It was there that I stumbled upon Nicole Burke from gardenary.co and my adventure began.

While researching gardening in my area I was also looking into healthy living for cancer patients.  I knew, as I think that we all do, that organic fruits and vegetables are healthy for anyone, and increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables is also recommended for a healthy lifestyle.  I decided to start with vegetables.  In the middle of winter.  Cue the seed packets, seed trays, warming mats, and grow lights.  I was all in.  The first win from gardening, growing organic vegetables that would nourish me and provide healthy nutrition for me.

I won’t bore you with the details of my first-year gardening successes and mishaps, but while I was going through chemotherapy, I loved tending to something other than myself.  Watching the seedlings sprout and grow gave me something small and manageable to do every day when most days the best I could do was take care of myself. It was a form of mindfulness which ultimately leads to stress reduction, another pillar of a healthy lifestyle.  Second win from gardening, giving me something manageable to do every day and providing me with a daily dose of mindfulness.

Once my seedling babies were big enough and the spring sun started to shower us with warmer days, I set out planting all those tiny vegetables in my seed trays into my bigger raised garden beds.  This required me to be outside for a small amount of time every single day.  I donned my hat, sunscreen, and sun protective clothing and out I went, taking in that beautiful vitamin D from the sun.  The National Institute of Health reports that the best benefit of being in the sun is that it helps boost the body’s vitamin D.  Vitamin D is vital in helping our immune system function and as a cancer patient, my immune system needed all the help I could give it.  Sunshine is also thought to increase mood and decrease depression.  Third win from gardening, helping my immune system and my mental health.

Four of the six garden boxes my husband made for me!

My gardening obsession also helped my husband through my treatment.  See my husband is a man of action.  He is not one to sit around and wait for things to happen and if something is wrong or broken, he wants to fix it now.  My cancer diagnosis and treatment were particularly hard on him because the best he could do was take care of me, which he did spectacularly.  But he couldn’t fix me.  When I told him I wanted to garden and I showed him Gardenary’s raised beds, he was all in.  Out to the home improvement store and my eight raised bed gardens were born.  Added win from gardening, it gave my husband something to physically do during my chemotherapy, a time when he, like most caregivers, feel helpless.

While I know that gardening isn’t for everyone, gardening provided a lot of benefit to me both during treatment and in the after cancer.  I was able to provide my body healthy, organic nutrition; it gave me something to do every day so that I felt like I had a purpose other than to get well which was daunting; it provided me moments of mindfulness where I could focus on something other than my illness; it provided me a daily reason to go outside and give my body vitamin D to support my immune system and mental health; and it gave my husband something to do so that he didn’t feel so helpless in my journey.  The biggest thing that gardening has given me though, is hope.  You see when you plant that little seed, you are sending a message that you intend the seed to flourish and grow and that you intend to be here to watch when that seed turn into a lush and glorious plant.  So, I would have to say that gardening has given me many gifts, but the greatest gift it has given me is hope for the future.

Hereditary Cancer, My Story

This week is National Hereditary Cancer Awareness Week.  Here’s my story.

When I learned of my cancer diagnosis in September of 2021, I was simultaneously not surprised and surprised.  Not surprised because I had these vague, annoying symptoms:  bloating, fullness, no appetite, and fatigue for at least several months.  But they were so benign in my mind that I felt silly making an appointment with my physician, so I didn’t.  My mistake.  Once I was diagnosed, a lightbulb went off and all those months of not really feeling well but not feeling sick enough to see my doctor made sense. 

What I was surprised about was that my cancer was genetic.  As far as I knew there were no other females on either side of my family that were diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  I have four aunts, ten female first cousins and almost too numerous to count second and third cousins.  They are older and younger than me.  No cancer.  But there was a history of cancer from my father’s side of the family.  Prostate cancer.  A male cancer.  Since I was a female, I didn’t think that I had to be concerned about a history of prostate cancer for me personally.  Well, that’s not exactly the case.

I have been diagnosed with the ATM genetic mutation.  The ATM genetic mutation was discovered a year after my father’s death.  Since my father and my mother were not able to get tested prior to their deaths there is no way of knowing from which parent I received the mutation from.  During genetic counseling I was told that the mutation most likely came from my father’s side of the family, but that they could not rule out that it came from my mother’s side either.  The thing about genetic mutations, there a several and they are all different, is that they can predispose you to a variety of cancers, not just the cancer that the person you inherited it from had.  In my case the ATM genetic mutation predisposes me to prostate, ovarian, breast, and pancreatic cancer.  So unbeknownst to me, I should have been concerned with my father’s prostate cancer history.

So why am I telling you this?  Well first off, please don’t have a false sense of security like I did that there is no family history of, in my case prostate cancer, therefore I don’t have to be worried about ovarian cancer.  Wrong. And while only 10-20% of all cancers come from an inherited genetic mutation, if you are in the 10-20% and get diagnosed with cancer you will second guess yourself and lament that you should have been more aware. 

The second thing I want you to know is if there is a family history of a certain type of cancer typically associated with one gender, don’t think you are out of the woods because you are a different gender.  My father’s prostate cancer can be from an inherited genetic mutation that predisposes me to ovarian cancer.  A mother’s inherited genetic mutation can predispose her son to breast cancer (yes, men can get breast cancer too).  I think you get the idea.  Knowledge is power.

But the biggest thing I want you to know and the reason that I am sharing my personal health information with you is to encourage you, if you are worried about your risk and want to know more, to speak with your physician, a genetics counselor, or an expert in genetics.  If I had known I had a predisposition to cancer would that have prevented my cancer, probably not but who knows.  If knowledge of the mutation caused me to preventatively remove my fallopian tubes (studies show most ovarian cancer starts in the fallopian tubes) or have a preventative hysterectomy, then maybe it would have prevented my cancer.  If knowing I had the mutation caused me not to dismiss my symptoms and go to the doctor sooner, then maybe I would have been diagnosed at an earlier stage.  The thing is, it’s all speculation at this point BUT, had I known, I could have been more aware of my symptoms and could have taken preventative steps AND steps to get diagnosed sooner.  We all know, the earlier the diagnosis, the better chance for a good treatment outcome. 

If you want to know more, check out FORCE at www.facingourrisk.org .  There you will find a plethora of information about genetics and cancer.  Talk to your doctor and if genetic testing is recommended, to a genetic counselor to talk through your questions and/or trepidations about getting tested before you decide if it’s right for YOU.  You also may be eligible for free or low-cost genetic testing.  The Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance at www.ocrahope.org just launched a pilot program to provide free genetic testing to qualified individuals.  They too have a world of information on their website.  I’m sure there are other wonderful organizations out there getting the word out that I don’t yet know about too.  The main message is don’t be afraid to ASK if you are concerned about your risk.  Get tested if you qualify and if it is right for you so you can learn how to reduce the risk of cancer for you and for other family members.  Knowledge is power.

Let’s Talk About Hereditary Cancers

September 24, 2023 through September 30, 2023 is National Hereditary Cancer Week. National Previvor Day is September 27, 2023. A Previvor is a person who is at a higher risk of cancer due to an inherited genetic mutation. Here’s what you need to know.

What is a hereditary cancer? Hereditary cancer is when a person has an inherited genetic mutation that makes that person more prone to a specific cancer or cancers than a person in the general population without the genetic mutation. It does NOT mean that the genetic mutation always causes cancer. It just means the persons risk of certain cancers is higher than persons without the genetic mutation.

Who can pass on the genetic mutations and who can inherit them? The genetic mutations can be inherited from mother or father or both, and passed on to son or daughter or both.

What percentage of cancers are due to inherited gene mutations? It is estimated that 5-10% of cancers are due to an inherited gene mutation.

I’ve heard of BRCA1 and BRCA2, is that the only genetic mutation for cancer? While BRCA1 and BRCA2 are the most widely known genetic mutations, they are not the only ones. There are others, each with different cancer predisposition and guidelines. Talk with your doctor, a genetics expert, or a genetic counselor for more information pertinent to YOUR specific situation.

Who should get genetic testing? Talk to your doctor, a genetic expert, or a genetic counselor regarding YOUR specific situation to see if genetic testing is right for you.

What is the benefit of getting genetic testing? Genetic testing may provide you with steps that you can take to lower your risk of cancer, and/or detect cancer earlier. It may also provide your family members with information that may be pertinent to their health and well-being. Knowledge is power.

For more information: The National Cancer Institute here; FORCE at www.facingourrisk.org; the National Society of Genetic Counselors www.aboutgeneticcounselors.org; or speak with your doctor about YOUR specific situation. Check out Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance www.ocrahope.org/preventovca to learn about a new initiative that offers free genetic testing for those who qualify. Together we can save lives!

A Bold Move in Managing the Risk of Ovarian Cancer

Text provided from Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance.

Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance (OCRA), with the full endorsement of the Society of Gynecologic Oncology, has launched a new campaign in the fight against ovarian cancer, a bold and important direction for everyone who cares about the future of this field and who cares about saving lives.

The campaign urges people to know their risk; promotes genetic testing to at-risk populations; and encourages women and anyone born with ovaries to discuss prophylactic surgery with their doctor.

“There is currently no cure for the deadliest of all gynecological cancers, nor is there a way to screen for it that has any impact on mortality. But we know there is a way to dramatically reduce the risk,” said Audra Moran, President and CEO of OCRA. “Ovarian cancer is considered a rare disease, but for those with a family history and/or genetic mutation, the risk jumps to 40-50% or even higher. So, knowing one’s risk level is critical. We also know that 70% of ovarian cancer begins in the fallopian tubes, so we are encouraging people who are done having children to discuss with their doctors the possibility of having their tubes removed. Essentially, we want everyone with ovaries to know their risk level, and to know the actions they can take to help prevent ovarian cancer. Until there is a cure, these are our best weapons in this battle.”

Because knowing one’s risk level is critical, OCRA is providing free at-home genetic testing kits to anyone with a personal or family history of breast, gynecologic, or colorectal cancer. These individuals can fill out a brief questionnaire to determine whether they qualify for the program, and, if they do, have the kits sent to them at no cost. (The test kits are being offered to people 18 or older in the United States only.)

Concurrently, OCRA urges women and those born with ovaries to discuss preventative action with their doctor. Scientists know that the most common and lethal form of ovarian cancer actually starts in the fallopian tubes, with microscopic precursor lesions developing long before any symptoms would ever arise. People who are at increased risk for developing ovarian cancer should consider bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (removal of both fallopian tubes and ovaries) or bilateral salpingectomy (removal of the fallopian tubes, but keeping the ovaries in place so as to avoid surgical menopause). Those at average risk for developing ovarian cancer and who are undergoing pelvic surgeries for benign conditions (hysterectomy, tubal ligation, cysts, endometriosis) should consider having their tubes removed at the same time (a procedure known as opportunistic salpingectomy).

“Opportunistic salpingectomy is not targeted toward specific patients. It is not meant for high-risk patients,” said OCRA’s Scientific Advisory Committee member Dr. Celeste Leigh Pearce at University of Michigan, who co-authored a recent study on the subject. “We are targeting the 80% of high-grade serous cancers that arise in people with no genetically increased risk for ovarian cancer and trying to reduce the incidence of ovarian cancer overall by providing this safe and seemingly effective procedure at the time of hysterectomy or instead of tubal ligation.”

The new, aggressive strategy replaces decades of a focus on symptom awareness and early detection, after a rigorous clinical trial in the United Kingdom that followed more than 200,000 women for more than 20 years revealed sobering and deeply disappointing news: that current screening methods do not impact mortality in average-risk women. Put more simply, the trial showed screening and symptom awareness will not save lives.

“This is incredibly hard information to accept and runs contrary to almost all messaging related to ovarian cancer awareness to date. However, to ignore learnings gained from current research would be detrimental to the wellbeing of women and the future of ovarian cancer research,” said Moran. “We have to focus our limited resources on what we know actually works.”

Learn more about the campaign and how to receive free, at-home genetic testing.

Three Things That Helped Me Prepare for my Cancer Journey

“Prepare for my cancer journey.” Really?? You may think that I am crazy and that this is not for you. But wait, let me explain . . .

I have always been a planner. Not necessarily a daily/weekly/monthly type planner. I have always been more fluid in those areas. No, what I am talking about is being a disaster planner. I lived for almost four decades in Florida. If you know anything about Florida, you know that they get hurricanes and boy have I been through my share of hurricanes. What hurricane prep taught me is that while you cannot prevent the storm, you can lessen the impact of the damage with preparation. Prepare for the worst, control what you can, and let go of the rest. That was my motto. And then along came cancer . . .

My cancer journey started in September of 2021 when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I was told that I had a mass on my ovaries that was “highly suspicious of ovarian cancer.” Even so, I was told that it was probably not cancer. So while I prepared for post-surgery recovery, I did not prepare for post-surgery complications or a cancer diagnosis. Maybe it was denial or overwhelm, but even though there was a part of me that expected a cancer diagnosis, I did not “prepare” myself for a cancer diagnosis, as if anyone could truly “prepare” themselves for cancer. Even so, I was able to prepare for my after cancer treatment.

I focused on whaat I could do to prepare myself for, or at least lesson the challenges that other cancer patients and survivors were experiencing.

First, let me clarify that my preparation for hurricanes did not involve mental preparation, it was all practical, physical, environmental preparation, so that is where I started when I received my cancer diagnosis. I relied on my strength of disaster planning and started thinking about how I could take that skill and apply it to my cancer journey. I focused on what I could do to prepare myself for, or at least lesson the challenges, that other cancer patients and survivors were experiencing.

Even though I hate to ask for help, I knew I would need help to get through.

So I asked.

The first thing I did when I learned that I might have cancer was let my core support system know. Who are your core support people? These are the people that you would choose to be there with you during a crisis. The people that you know in your heart that if you had to lean on someone, you would want it to be them.

Now, we don’t always know who will actually be there for us and who will let us down. Fellow journeyers and I will tell you that the cancer journey brings along with it disappointment and anger. Disappointment in the people that, for whatever reason, by choice, by uncertainty of what to do, or by not really being your people, are not there for you. But the thing is, during this tie of crisis, and a cancer diagnosis is a time of crisis, you need to find out who your core group is. Because you are going to lean on them. A lot. And they are going to be a big part of the reason you get through. Even though I hate to ask for help, I knew I would need help to get through. So I asked.

I was lucky. I had a core group of people that I initially told about my diagnosis. And these people were there for me. From check-ins, to texts, to flowers, to thinking of you surprises, to lifing me up on my down days, and to reminding me that I was loved, they were there for me.

Unfortunately, I would soon find out that a close friend was going on the exact same journey with me and became part of my core support group in a different way. A common understanding through the bond of being a fellow cancer survivor. We provided each other the same kind support that my other core group provided, but it was with a knowing, as we were going through the exact same thing at the exact same time.

Who are those core support people for you? It could be a community or it could be just one person. It doesn’t matter, what matters is that you have support. While this is true during treatment, I will tell you that it’s equally true during the after cancer. I encourage you to reach out, be vulnerable, and tell them that this is the time that you need them. Because you do. Do it even if you are not sure of exactly what you need.

For me, having nutritious foods in the freezer gave me peace of mind.

Diet seemed to me to be an important factor in my recovery and for symptom management before and after treatment. Let’s face it, food for many of us equals comfort. My body was extremely weak from surgery, from cancer, from the blood clots that I developed after surgery, and later from the treatment itself. My three day hospital stay ended up being seven days, and by the time I was discharged I could barely walk 100 feet. I knew I needed to do something to boost my immune system and help my body heal and get strong.

The book, “The Cancer Fighting Kitchen” by Rebecca Katz became an invaluable resource to me. I made a list of nourishing and nutritious recipes, foods that receive common symptoms like nausea, constipation, low appetite, and fatigue and sent my husband off to the grocery store to stock up. My husband is my rock, and while he will cook for me if I ask, it is not something he enjoys. It stresses him out. So as soon as I was feeling a little stronger (by moving a few more steps each day, resting when I needed to, and eating small portions of nutrient-rich food), I started cooking.

I made nutritious soups, some light in case I was nauseous and unable to eat, and some robust and nourishing in case I had a good appetite. Mineral broth was my mainstay before and after treatment. I still use it today to boost my immune system when I feel I may get rundown and prone to illness or when I am feeling ill. I made energy bars for snacks, and fruit compote to help if it was constipated (an all too common symptom of both chemo and pain medication). I had ginger - cookies, chews and raw ginger for tea. I still rely on ginger when the nausea creeps in. I stocked up the freezer so that on those days that were really bad there was health and nutritious food for me to eat. I had six rounds of chemo and in between those rounds on the days when the chemo symptoms were residing, I would slowly restock the freezer. For me, having those foods in the freezer gave me peace of mind.

What food brings you comfort and nourishes you? If you are newly diagnosed I encourage you to stock up your freezer if you can, or get that support person to help you get prepared so that you have the nourishment you need to help you heal. If you are in the after cancer phase of your journey like me and still get those post treatment flares, having meals in the freezer helps make those still difficult days easier. If you can’t do it yourself or don’t have a support person that can help, there are mail order meal services you can order so that there are nutritious smoothies, soups and meals on hand. I used Splendid Spoon to supplement the times when I was too weak to cook and still wanted the freezer stocked.

What did I need to feel physically comforted?

Donna and Grayson, her comfort bestie for those rough days!

I had my support system in place, food ready to nourish my body and soul, but what about those creature comforts? What did I need to feel physically comforted? My daughter sent me a tummy pillow to help me after surgery. It was soft, cheery and bright yellow, and I could hold it against my stomach to provide some support and to protect my incision from my seat belt. I slept with it and also used it as a buffer between me and my little fur babies. There are pillows available for different types of surgery including port protection from seat belts. Etsy has a great selection and you can even choose a pattern or fabric that speaks to your own unique personality.

One of my friends sent me a care package after surgery that included comfy pajamas, soft socks and a fleece throw blanket. The blanket was teal, the color representing ovarian cancer, and it had words of encouragement and inspiration on it. I took it to every chemo appointment and still treasure it to this day. A reminder of hope. A reminder I am loved.

I made sure that I had comfy clothes to recover in. I knew there were most likely bad days ahead, but I didn’t want to stay in my pajamas every day. I wanted to be as “normal” during those bad days as possible. So I made sure I had a few cozy lounge pants and tops. There are many affordable options out there. Or you may have a favorite set of leggings or a t-short that brings you comfort. I made sure that the clothes I wore to treatment were comfortable but also looked good which helped me with my body image and self esteem.

Promise that you won’t laugh at this one. It’s common for us to purchase stuffed animals to comfort children. Firefighters and Law Enforcement sometimes carry teddy bears to give to children for support. So why is a stuffed animal just for children? I was a stuffed animal junkie as a child so I wanted one to comfort me now as an adult. I purchased a giant stuffed animal for myself through Lavender Life Company and named him Grayson. He was filled with a lavender pouch that could be named and inserted to use as aromatherapy. Lavender is said to be known to reduce anxiety and stress, and to help with insomnia. I didn’t use Grayson too often, but when I took him out and snuggled with him in bed my husband knew it was a really bad day. Soft, cuddly, with a heavenly smell, Grayson provided the perfect comfort. As an added bonus, for every stuffed animal you purchase from Lavender Life Company a stuffed animal is donated to a child in foster care!

What brings you comfort? Is it soft clothes, a nice blanket, a special pillow, a stuffed animal? Maybe it’s even a playlist and a candle. A cup of tea. Treat yourself and use it on those days during treatment and after cancer when you need a little boost. It may make your day a little brighter.

Preparation helps mitigate the bad days and brings you some comfort.

Preparation is not the “be all, end all” to make your cancer journey carefree. But by having your support system in place, foods to nourish your soul and body, and the things that bring you comfort nearby, you can at least mitigate those bad days a little and bring yourself some comfort. These aren’t just for when you are going through treatment. After cancer people can also benefit. If you haven’t gotten your support system together it is never too late. Research shows that a good support system improves symptoms of depression and anxiety. If you are like me and getting post-treatment maintenance care, or if you have late or lingering side effects from treatment, having foods that nourish and comfort you at the ready will make those fatigue and side effect filled days easier. Couldn’t we all benefit from a little cozy comfort waiting for us when we needed it?

Which of these preparations will you implement to prepare for your cancer journey? What are your strengths that you can use to make YOUR cancer journey a little easier? Let me know!